strange matters:

His gentle words caress my inner being as he gently takes my heart out of my chest and tends to the wounds. The anesthetic? An old friend. A trusted friend more or less. Held tenderly, gingerly and with care his words warm my soul with hope. The intent of his eyes leering into mine provides me with comfort of another soul that understands my trials and tribulations. My heart now sewn anew pumps blood and rushing expressions of oxygen into my awaiting arteries and muscles. The status of being ok pulses into the ends of every finger and at the edge of hopes door!

Then with the glint of his eye he unveils his mask of confusion. The arms that hold me are of a man. A man that was supposed to understand, and to help me through my hurts and struggles. His arms wrap around me and squeeze me tighter, while my brain wonders if it is youthful lust to take advantage of such a wounded open heart? I was being held by a man who declares himself Christian also declares himself to be openly gay. I just slept next to you while you held me in your arms! You told me everything was going to be ok! Is this the fate that keeps staring me down? Do all rape victims just "Switch teams?". I don't want another man to touch me. Don't even think about it. I can't trust any of you! What do you want? Do you think I am just an emotional bean bag that you can get up and toss and catch when you feel like it? I want nothing to do with men. They are vile. Every part of them. Their purpose is to protect not take advantage of someone.

What do you say to the man that you just spent the night next to (no sexual relations) that you are ok with them being gay and their possible attraction to you. when the man used to be your mentor and hero. What else do you have to live for? Being a weak Man or a male rape case. There is not a good success rate. Most end up with something that holds you tighter than any lustful man or person that pretends to call you friend wrapped around your neck it displays the reality and hope in life.

(Events of part of the weekend following Feb 10th)

-Chad.